Oh, God, look at this.
'Come, not because you are strong but because you are weak.
Come, not because of any goodness of your own but because you need mercy and help.
Come, because you love the Lord a little and would like to love him more.
Come, because he loves you and gave himself for you.'
I found this lovely little prayer and have searched hard to try to find where it's from; it seems to be adapted from something by George McLeod from the Iona Community, though I've also seen it attributed to William Barclay, and the Church of Scotland. Whoever wrote it, thankyou. It could have been written just for me.
'Come, not because you are strong but because you are weak.'
I am weak in so many ways. Weak in that I give in too easily when I should stand firm, weak because I want what is immediate and easy rather than holding out for the difficult yet far more valuable. Yet it's only in my weakness that you are strong. And when I allow you to be strong on my behalf that's when things will get done, and done as you want them to be.
'Come, not because of any goodness of your own but because you need mercy and help.'
I need your mercy because you are perfect and I'm not. There's nothing I can do to earn my place in your family, but you've given it to me because you love me and you continue to look after me day by day, hour by hour. I can't do anything without you, and I've tried. I need to start again daily and if you weren't with me, I'd have given up long before now.
'Come, because you love the Lord a little and would like to love him more.'
I do love you, Lord, but I know that my love for you is like a dribble of water in a stream down a mountain, shallow, fast moving, easily diverted; often drying up and disappearing, occasionally pooling and overflowing, then setting off on it's own course again, full of noise and froth. On the other hand, yours for me is as enormous and powerful and wide as the ocean and so deep that you can't see the bottom. I'd like to learn to love as you do. I'd like to give you back just a drop of that immense and unfathomable love.
'Come, because he loves you and gave himself for you.'
And here we are again. What you did for me. You died so that I could live. You gave up everything for me. And that fascinates me, touches me, attracts me, terrifies me, fills me with joy and fear and sorrow and awe and love and amazement.
I want to know you better.