Saturday, 14 January 2012

Remembering to breathe

I am making myself dizzy
Up so high that the air is thin
And then so far in the depths 
It's hard to breathe.

I soar and fly and somersault
Free, inspired, creative
Full of possibilities
Full of hope.

Without warning I'm in free fall
Plummet down and down
Until I can't get much lower
And I stop.

I sit with my head in my hands
Dissatisfied and worried
Concentrating fully
On misery.

Either way I realise:
Flying or falling, 
Ecstasy or despair
I don't breathe.

It's only when I'm still that I know
That I need to breathe
I need to inhale

I need to fill myself with you
To feel cool air rush in
Touch every cell in me

Allow you to fill and refill me
Every breath I need to start again
Inhaling deeply

I need the life you give me
If only I take a breath
For air to reach
Every fibre of me.

Sometimes I forget to take a breath
I am so absorbed in being me
That I don't breathe at all
Until it hurts.

Sometimes arrogance prevails
I think that I can do this
I think that I don't need to breathe
That I'm enough.

Without your life the best I am
Lasts only as long as a breath
Held tight and short
Before I gasp

I can't do anything holding my breath
I can't see or hear or feel
Fear takes over

I am powerless without you
I can't manage on my own
I need your breath 
I'm waiting.

Listening for the whisper of your Spirit
To breathe life into me
So I can mean something
Reason to be.

So I am here and I am expectant
Focused on you
I am still and I know
You are God.

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