Thursday, 5 July 2012

To sleep, perchance to dream

I had a dream the other night, Father God.

It was one of those dreams that is somehow so different in the way it feels, so vivid, so high-quality that I think it's from you. I've only had a few such dreams in my whole life and I've had two in the last month or so. Thankyou. I'm hugging them to me because they're so special. 

Also, I wonder if you could see your way clear to sending me something that maybe clarifies a couple of things?

In my dream, I was standing at the front of church with two or three people standing in front of me. We were in a loose circle (I know, if there were two others, we'd be a triangle, if there were three, we'd be a square, but you know what I mean). I was speaking and I was full of the Holy Spirit. Overflowing. I was talking to these few people, not to the whole congregation, though the church was full. I was emotional and excited and somehow I was carried away with what I was doing. It was intensely spiritual. I began to speak in tongues (which I've never been able to do) and I was full of praise and delight and wonder.

Oddly, even in the depths of this powerful dream where I was praying aloud in the spirit, I said to myself, 'Am I dreaming?' and answered 'No! It's not a dream!' and then, bizarrely, 'I can't wait to tell my friend about this!'. Once again I asked myself, 'Am I dreaming?' and concluded that no, it was real. 

It was real.

Of course, I woke up and it had been a dream. 

It was amazing, God. I loved it. I'd like to do it again, please. Any time you feel like it I'm ready; indeed I settle down to sleep these days with a sense of excited expectation. But the thing that concerns me slightly is that I am very, very sure that you were telling me something in this dream and I'm afraid of missing the point. You know me - I worry about getting it wrong.

So please may I have a sequel? Or a replay with subtitles? Slow motion?

I love that you communicate with us. You're not a God who sits aloof up there and just watches impassively but that you do speak to us in a myriad of ways. You are endlessly creative in how you reach out to me. You know me so well that you know the ways to get my attention, and you keep on surprising me. You speak to me through people, through things I read, through music, through art. You speak to me in pictures and words. In the beauty of creation and in ideas that pop into my head for no apparent reason. You have even embraced the digital age with enthusiasm - I have heard your voice in a text message from a friend.

I've heard it said that you are communicating all the time, yet I only tend to hear you from time to time. There are days when you're everywhere and days when I can't (or won't) find you. It's as if I only intermittently pick up the frequency. Teach me to tune myself in better, Father God, so that I can listen closely and more often.

So, back to my dream. I like very much that you chose to come and have a little chat while I was doing what I love doing the most: sleeping. I'm good at it, but I rarely get the chance to get the sort of practice that would keep me in peak fitness in that area. Do you think I should try to do more of it in order to be more available for anything that you want to say? Please?  The Lord told me that I should stay in bed. Hmm. I'm not sure that there's a Biblical precedent for that one, sadly.

Thankyou. For reaching into my life. The picture you gave me is deeply embedded in me. It couldn't be otherwise; it was unlike a normal, common-or-garden dream where I can suddenly fly, or find myself naked in Sainsburys, or anything like that. It was from you. I like it. In my dream I was ecstatic. I was fully myself and it was easy. I was full of your Spirit. I want that very much - who wouldn't?  All I need now is the wisdom to understand what you want to say, or the patience to wait until you make it clear. I want to hear you clearly, Lord.

And I want to be overflowing with your Spirit too.


1 comment:

  1. So glad you have written about this - I think that this is significant and that marking it, writing it down is so important too. Thank you for your words and your sense of humour and your passion and inspiration. It's contagious - Mel whats-her-name in When Harry Met Sally - I want some of what she's got!

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