Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Halloween guest post: the other guy


Got you. 

Once again. Your people - your bunch of stupid sheep - the ones you're so proud of. It doesn't take much, does it? Heh heh heh.

There aren't many opportunities as good as this, you know. You've closed so many of them down, but not this, not yet, it seems. What is it? Too much for you? Is it some sort of test for the sheep? If so, you must be shaking your head in disappointment. 

Me?  Ha. I love it.

Halloween. You know, it's only a bit of fun. It's all for the children. They say that about Christmas too, don't they? It's for the children really... oh, it makes me smile. Let them think that Halloween is just a bit of fun for the children; nothing sinister at all. You know what? If they're offering the children, I'll take them. Sounds good to me.

What was it that guy said, one of the Big Guns, wasn't he?  CS Lewis? Something about believing that I don't exist? Oh yes, so many people believe that. They're the ones who think that it's all just fun and games. While they go about thinking that it doesn't matter, I am free to do just as I want. 

I love the stuff they can buy from the supermarket these days. Some of it is really gruesome. I've known  small kids start to cry when they see the masks and costumes and decorations. Kids see me, sometimes, you know, they see things as they are, but by the time they're old enough to explain why they're so spooked, the adults have talked them into thinking it's all just a bit of fun. The Halloween merchandising seems to get more and more explicit and it's just lovely. The dead and decaying, evil, nasty,'s beautifully dark; and then there are pumpkins. Admit I'm a bit baffled about pumpkins; nothing inherently evil about pumpkins - but I'm working on it. I like it when they take a pumpkin and cut a nice aggressive face on it. Something that gives the littlest ones nightmares. 

They dress their kids up, you know. They put witches' costumes on them, or disguise them as demons or murderers or corpses and douse them in red food colouring. They have nooses and knives and missing eyes and all that lovely disturbing stuff. They make them look as if they've been dismembered or as if they're one of my very own. Why on earth would they do that? The rest of the year we struggle to get them to take us seriously and then, on This Day each October they come to us, ready and willing. They just invite us in. 

And we never refuse an invitation. It'd be rude, wouldn't it?

I don't think they know where it all came from, do they? The Druids and their human sacrifices, all the blood and pain and fear. They thought that on this night each year the demons roamed free and in order to keep themselves safe they sacrificed their children to appease us. The Night of the Dead. Love it. 

Nothing changes. They think they're sophisticated but the more things change, the more they stay the same.

They think it's about sweets and chocolate and orange and black and so on, but they're commemorating evil. They're lifting me high and I love it. I don't often get to see the view from up here. I have the time of my life. If they knew, would it still be a bit of fun? Yeah, I know, probably. They don't have much common sense, do they? I'm so glad that they don't. If one day it turned out that they saw it all for exactly what it is they probably wouldn't be so quick to dress up their little darlings as demons. 

But while they do... heh heh heh. This is my time. This is the night when it's ok to dwell on all that's evil and nasty and corrupt and unhealthy, even in polite society. When I become socially acceptable. Most of the time they don't think about me much but tonight I am the guest of honour. Not you! You know that bit in your Bible where you tell them to contemplate all the good and wholesome things? All the 'pure and noble and honest and whatever...' you know that bit? Ha! Not tonight, my friend. Tonight they think about all the other stuff. I positively encourage it. 

And you know what? So much angst. So many Christians feel uneasy about Halloween but don't really know what to do about it. Can it really do any harm? And all their little friends are having Halloween Parties and the little souls so want to dress up and witches don't exist really, do they? Any more than ghosts? So surely it wouldn't do any harm, as long as we don't frighten the neighbours? 

Oh I love it. 

On the subject of neighbours, that's just an added bonus. I hadn't really thought much beyond human sacrifice and scaring the pants of small kids, but then they thought up the Trick or Treat thing! Oh, beautiful. Dress their children up as death or despair or destruction and send 'em round to the old people. Ask them for sweets or throw eggs at the window. Demand money or chocolate or squirt shaving foam through the letterbox. And as for the teenagers who don't have shivering, indulgent mummies at the end of the drive... they get up to Real Mischief. And the icing on the cake is that so many people are so afraid of visitors that they sit in the dark pretending to be out and they're nervous in case the doorbell goes and their houses are full of unease and apprehension and anxiety. Right up my street, and I didn't have to do a thing.

Such fun. I really have fun on 31 October. It's the best bit of the year. All of a sudden I'm legitimate. I'm the One they want to be with. I'm the Main Man. Not you. Oh no, not you. You're the party-pooper.

I am Darkness, and for one night, darkness is where it's at. They like the thrill. They're deceived into thinking that it's all about fun - and I am the Deceiver. It may be only a small opening but I'm in there quicker than you can say 'resist the devil and he will flee from you'. Tonight - they don't resist me. They open the door and offer me chocolate. Chocolate shaped like little demons. I eat it all up. 

I know - don't start. There are some that belong to you and they know the power they have, but most of them don't. They don't have the first clue. They don't realise they need power, I don't think. While they think it's all harmless fun, I'm doing fine.

Trouble comes when they know the dark for what it is - that's when I come unstuck. When the light penetrates the darkness, then it gets uncomfortable. When every dark and cobwebbed corner is lit up like a Christmas tree -yes, I know what I said - that's when I'd rather just creep back under my stone. 

I like easy prey. It's like the car with the immobiliser to a car thief. Struggle to take that one, or the one in front, with the door unlocked and the keys in the ignition? Easy all the way. That house, they love you, sadly, I'll give it a miss; this one here there's a rotting corpse by the door and 'blood' on the driveway and they're just waiting with open arms to welcome me home.

Do I really get a chance to find a way in, you know, a real way into their lives where I get to stay after Halloween? Well, don't underestimate me. You'd be surprised. Well, you wouldn't, but they would. Give me an inch and I'll take a mile. I'll take whatever I can get.

Don't send the light. Please? Let them have their little games. Leave them alone for once, will you? Give me a break. It's all just harmless fun. I don't like it when you have them carve a pumpkin with little hearts for eyes and one of your crosses for a nose and big smiles. I don't like it when they pray at these parties. When they look upwards instead of downwards. I don't like it when they keep their kids close to them and sign them with your blessed sign instead of dripping blood. 

In the name of all that's holy.
I like it dark and I like mess. I like fear and screams and trembling. They think it's just a thrill but I Am Right There. 

And when they point at the Christians who complain about the bodies in Tesco and Sainsbury? When they say they're over-reacting and they should just chill out and have a bit of fun? Oh yes. Love it. 

It's getting dark. It'll soon be time. Just stay out of it, will you? 

The battle of good and evil continues, and tonight... 

It's the Night of the Dead. For the lost. It's time for Me. I shall make the most of it.

Come on in. We've got witches in the kitchen, zombies in the hall, demons in the living room and all manner of depravity in the conservatory. All this and nibbles too!

Heh heh heh. I know, they're only kids. It's just a bit of fun. Don't the adults know better?

I hope not. 


  1. Inspired post my friend... Inspired. Thank you.
    He definitely wasn't welcome here last night while the kids were dancing musical statues to praise songs :-)
    The blood of the lamb marked our doorways... And our children were kept safe from the Deceiver.


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