Monday, 13 June 2011

You've done the big thing...

Charles Spurgeon pointed out a very simple thing to me. This is it:

Bearing in mind that the Son of God has already done something huge for me - died for me - why would he not do a little thing like help me when I struggle?

He put it more eloquently than that:

'I will HELP thee. That is very little for me to do, to Help thee. Consider what I have done already. What! Not help thee? Why, I bought thee with my blood. What! Not help thee? I have died for thee; and if I have done the greater, will I not do the less? Help thee, my beloved! It is the least thing I will ever do for thee. I have done more, and I will do more. Before the day-star first began to shine I chose thee. "I will help thee". I made the convenant for thee, and exercised all the wisdom of my eternal mind on the plan of salvation. "I will help thee".

You've done the big thing. Why do I doubt that you'll do the little thing?

You died for me. You died to save me from my sin; you paid the price, you were the only sacrifice good enough. You gave your perfect life in a hideous way so that I could be free in this life and the next. I believe that. You are my God and you died for me.

So then why do I have so much fear and anxiety and worry? Why do I accept with such gratitude and awe the Big Thing you have done and yet doubt you over the trivia? You died for me, but you might not help me cope with the day to day troubles of my selfish little life. You died for me, but you might not listen to my prayers. You died for me, but you might choose to let me suffer.

It makes no sense, does it? I make no sense much of the time.

Lord God, my Father, forgive me for being so inconsistent. Forgive me for doubting. Forgive me for trying so hard to sort it all out myself and not trusting you with it.

Thankyou that you brought us through this morning at the hospital where Katy had her dressing changed once again and the stitches out. Thankyou that she didn't need to be sedated. Thankyou for kind, kind nurses and strong, supportive friends, and thoughtful brothers and sisters in Christ who left flowers and chocolate biscuits for when we got back. Thankyou for my Mum who quietly helps with day to day things big and small that I seem to be forgetting at the moment. Thankyou for my wonderful husband who is managing to be all things to all people at the moment and now has his Uncle's funeral to go to later this week.

Lord, I lift before you my family and friends, each and every one of them, because I value them all more than I can say. These last few months when my world has been a complicated and scary one at times you have surrounded me with love and wrapped us up in prayer. I want you to bless them all, Lord God, for they have allowed you to work through them. I see you in the flowers on the doorstep, the pressure of a friend's hand on my shoulder as I hold Katy still for the nurse with tears in my eyes. I see you in the friend who brought a meal round one day because she thought that when we got home from the hospital we might not feel like cooking. I see you in my thoughtful little Elizabeth who made Katy's tea and some pink milk tonight to cheer her up. I see you in my brave little Katy who has no idea how much she comforts me when we hang onto each other after the dressing changes.

I see you in the sun that lifts my heart and the rain that waters my plants. I hear you in the music I sing to in the car and the voice of a wise friend who listens to me and then speaks your word. I feel you as I lie in bed and offer you my day in the too-short minutes before I nod off, exhausted.

I give you such a tiny amount and you give me so very much.

I know all this. You died for me, and every day you help me live. Help me more and more, Lord. Help me to open my fists and allow you to take control of all of me. Help me to see you more and hear you more and feel you more.

Help me to trust you more. You've already done the Big Thing.

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