Saturday 12 February 2011

A door flung wide

Oh my God.  You are just wonderful.

You know what?  I've seen a little bit of heaven. I'm sure that sometimes you do show us a little bit of heaven, don't you? Just occasionally it's as if that door just opens a smidge and we get a glimpse of what's inside before it softly closes again. Sometimes it's a glimpse that I can see - like tonight's beautiful sunset, or a really clear night when there seem to be a million more stars than last time I looked.

Sometimes it's an emotional moment when I can really feel your Holy Spirit and that door seems for a moment to have been flung wide open for a time onto a brightness that makes me blink; a warmth that makes me shiver, a wonderful speechless joyful feeling that I want to cling onto and never let go of... and then it fades and Life reasserts itself again.

I just gather these moments up and hold them in my heart and fetch them out later to examine and smile over.

Sometimes in church the worship just comes together and I feel as if I'm in your presence. I don't mean that the band are particularly good, though they might be; and I don't mean that it's because the 'right' songs have been chosen, though they might be my favourites. I don't even mean that it's because I'm in the right frame of mind to worship, though that might be the case too. Sometimes it happens with none of these, or only one or two. It just sometimes happens. When it does, it's as if we can join in with the angels and I can feel you with me, and around me and see you smiling, and it's just indescribable.

A little look at heaven, just to keep me going.

The other night we sang harmonies in church, acapella style (though giving it a proper technical name doesn't sit easily with me since I am so unmusical. I'm sure that what everyone else was doing was acapella; what I was doing was leaning into the person next to me and trying to hit the same notes they were singing, preferably in the same order and roughly the same time).  We've been practicing the same songs for three weeks now and they are sounding beautiful.  Something special happened as we sang - it seemed as if you came yourself to listen to us and it felt as if we were making you happy. I hope so.  It was an amazing time. I didn't want to stop. 

Those are the moments when I know that an eternity spent at the foot of your throne is going to be heaven indeed. 

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