Today's not been a great day; not that anything has really gone wrong, but I've been feeling a bit low and lethargic anyway. First day back on the hamster wheel after Christmas; I hate this time of year. I love Christmas, I love having everyone here; I love the excitement, the brightness, the fairy lights (not especially taking them down) and all the happiness and fun. Then comes New Year which is inevitably a big anti-climax and then what? January stretches on, cold and dark, treacherous and dank.
Sorry. I know you had a reason for January. I know the plants are resting, I know that the hedgehogs are hibernating...but I'm struggling to think of many other Good Things to do with January. I'm open to suggestions though, if you feel so moved?
But anyway. I digress. Today Bryan went back to London, Lizzie back to school, and me back to the normal routine which involves getting up too early, waking up the children (that's unnatural, if you ask me. I devote plenty of time to getting them to sleep, and so it pains me to reverse the process) and getting on with the day.
Like I say, not a bad day. Played games with Katy, did a jigsaw of the British Isles (actually Kate had long since left the room but I hadn't noticed, so engrossed was I in locating the missing piece - Hull) and then wrapped myself up in fleeces and scarves to go and pick up Elizabeth from school.
I plugged in my ipod and selected my 'gospel and worship' playlist and the song that came on was, 'Praise the Mighty Name of Jesus'. (2001 Robert Critchley. Kingsway/Thankyou Music)
My troubled soul,
Why so weighed down?
I walked down the road and hadn't got far before you had my complete attention. As I listened and walked I got a glimpse of how Great you are. How enormous and all-encompassing, and vast and mighty and wonderful. It was as if a door opened a crack and I saw what lay behind it and then it closed again, but it left me with a sense of wonder.
(I will) Praise the mighty name of Jesus
Me, just me, walking down the road, looking at the sky (grey, January sky) with my scarf up round my ears and my music playing in my ears. I felt how small I was, and yet how special, as the Lord of the Universe cares about me.
And trust again, in the promise of His love.
Why do I forget about the promise of Your love? Even as I write this (with the children pestering about their tea, and a pile of paperwork to sort out, and things that need doing that I'm putting off...) I can feel that sense of connectedness fading and the heaviness setting in again.
And all your worrying won’t help you make it through
I worry so much about the children, about Bryan in London, about his work, our finances, how I look, what people think... I am a worrier, I'm good at it and I give myself lots of practice. I've decided that I'm going to work on this.
But today, the Lord, the lifter of my head, You smiled at me this afternoon. Thankyou.
I Will Praise the Mighty Name of Jesus
My troubled soul,
Why so weighed down?
You were not made to bear this heavy load
Cast all your burdens, upon the Lord
Jesus cares, He cares for you.
Jesus cares, He cares for you
And all your worrying won’t help you make it through
Cast all your burdens, upon the Lord
And trust again, in the promise of His love.
(I will) Praise that mighty name of Jesus
Praise the Lord, the Lifter of my head
Praise the Rock of my Salvation
All my days are in His faithful hands.
My anxious heart
Why so upset?
When trials come, how you so easily forget
To cast your burdens, upon the Lord
Jesus cares, He cares for you.
Jesus cares. He cares for you
And all your worrying won’t help you make it through
Cast all your burdens, upon the Lord
And trust again, in the promise of His love.
(I will) Praise that mighty name of Jesus
Praise the Lord, the Lifter of my head
Praise the Rock of my Salvation
All my days are in His faithful hands.
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